Blood on Tears
by thrilladdict
Summary: taito... Yama is dying from depression and Taichi isn't helping... hey, give me some credit, I actually finished this¡


  
  
  
Tears on Blood  
By: Jen_chan  
  
  
  
Hey everybody¡ I have no confidence in my writing abilities so I think this is pretty fair taito angst. You have to love Taito¡ If you don't is time for you to evolve. I don't own Digimon, Yamato or Taichi. But If I told you I do own them, would you believe me? So then. What's the point?  
You can guess the backround. So on with the Fic.  
And yeah Yama cut his wrists…  
  
  
  
================================  
  
Please, don't see me  
I don't want to see you again  
Don't break me anymore  
Please go  
  
No, don't come here  
I can't stand it  
It hurts  
I want you to go  
  
No, no  
Go away  
Don't pity me  
I try hard to hate you  
But I just can't…  
  
Don't break me   
Just go away  
Leave me alone  
I don't want to see your face ever again  
Your eyes still hunt me  
  
I want to be free  
Free of you  
  
Wha…?  
Why are you crying?…  
Why are you crying so hard?  
I doesn't make any sense…  
  
Your eyes seem so sad  
Are you sad… because of… me???  
Ha¡ you were the one that didn't care  
Remember?  
  
….  
  
I'm cold  
Why are you covering my body with a fur  
Can you feel it?  
I'm cold  
But you don't care…  
Remember?  
  
Now you are hugging my blood drenched body against yours  
My shirt is already soaked but I feel your tears on my chest  
Why are you still here?  
Why can't I just die?  
Why can't you just go away?  
  
You are scared  
Very scared  
But why?  
Because of me?  
I mean nothing to you¡  
I'm a disgusting screwed up homo perv…  
A fag, a fairie, an error of nature against God's will  
You said so…   
I'd believed you…  
  
I can still remember  
That fire in your eyes… the hate  
The hate in all of you…my so called "friends"  
You, all, thought I was going to end up deserting you  
But you ended up deserting me…  
What did I do? What did I do that was so unforgivable?  
What? Love you? Is that so bad…?  
  
I don't want to see you  
Go away  
Let me rest  
  
Your lips are trembling, you begin muttering something.  
I can't move, hardly listen, but it is like if your soul is talking to mine  
  
"please, Yama, I'm soo sorry. Please don't die, please, I was just confused, don't leave me. I was such a jerk, you don't deserve this, I do, please, fight. For yourself, for Takeru…"  
  
Takeru…  
I always thought you were my innocent, forgiven little bro. But then again you are human.  
I don't blame you for being ashamed of me… I'm ashamed of myself.  
I guess you can take care of yourself. I was the one that couldn't take care of myself  
Why should I live for another person, anyway?   
There's no point on that…   
people just let you down.   
  
You are sobbing, you are sobbing like I'd never seen another person sob before.  
Your eyes are red and your cheeks are stained…  
But why?   
I tought you hated me…  
I tought you couldn't stand me   
So why are you here?  
HUH?  
You should be happy…  
No more Yamato freak going after you  
But what did I do?  
I just loved you…  
Is that so unforgivable?  
  
I want to loathe you  
But I can't  
Because..  
I still love you  
  
I used to think that falling in love with you was the only thing I regreted.  
But, the truth is that…  
Falling in love with you was the best thing that ever happened to me  
  
I can still remember how you maked me smile…  
  
I can still remember how we used to fight; cursing and punching each other…   
To then end up laughing at our own silliness and rolling in the ground  
  
I remember how you maked me forget things…  
Like loneliness, sadness and self loathe  
  
I remember how you used to call me "Yama-chan" all around…  
  
And when you made fun of me when I blushed for the most stupid things   
  
I remember how you maked me feel wanted… loved…  
…Even if it was just as a friend  
  
Now my crest is as black as my hearth  
And I'm no one friend anymore…  
Gabumon used to call me his friend, until I loose him to..  
He was killed by the Kaiser  
I wasn't even there when that happened…  
  
I hate this world…  
I hate everybody…  
I hate school…  
I hate mom and dad…  
I hate Tk…  
And I hate this damn place…  
But I don't hate you  
  
Pathetic   
  
Go away  
I can't see you anymore  
I don't want you to hold me  
I don't want you to cry over me  
  
And I don't want to see you suffer  
  
Just go away  
  
Stop trying to save me, or my soul  
I'm already doomed  
We just hurt each other  
  
Go so I can rest  
  
You haven't stop muttering to me  
But I'm really dizzy…  
  
"Yamato, I was just scared, confused.. I didn't mean it… I was just scared…"  
  
Fright and confusion; do you think I don't know about them?  
  
I HAD TO LIVE WITH THEM ALL MY FREAKING LIFE¡¡¡¡  
  
You shed some other tears, before a slight sad smile appeared on your face  
  
"I love you Yama-chan"  
  
I love you?  
  
….  
  
You stare at me, like if you just some kind of expression on my face  
  
Please just go, I'm crying now.   
  
Where has all my previous rage gone?  
  
I know..  
  
I can't be mad at you for long…   
  
But why are you hurting me more?  
  
Let me suffer and fade away in peace  
  
The feeling is too overwhelming  
  
I feel as my hearth give a final powerful beat  
  
Guess what? I might see Gabumon again¡   
  
  
The last thing I felt was…  
  
  
  
Soft in my lips… and your warm breathe in my mouth  
  
  
  
  
FIN  
  
  
So? Liked it? Hated it? Feel free to review, flame or whatever. No general.yaoi flames, you read it on your own… hehehe  
YAAAWNNNS.. . I'm sleepy, is time for me to go hackin- I mean sleep.  



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